I Hate Blogging

It has robbed me of the personal interaction with the persons whom I would otherwise consider my friends.

Asparagus

I love asparagus. Even if it is haunting me six hours later.

Which it is.

And Charlie Parker is FANTASTIC!

We love hur.

Even IF...

Even if I hate the whole Fatherland bullshit.

Which I do.

I Love Cabaret

Tomorrow really does belong to me.

I Also Hate It...

I also hate it when straight chicks come on to me.

I'd love to get my rocks off, but there's something so patently dishonest about it that I just can't do it.

I'm a terrible man.

But I'm a fantastic human being.

Any man that gets his hands on me is lucky.

and I do have some idea how jealous the HS students, the undergrads and the hetties are of me.

I Hate It...

I hate it that all my friends are coupled because I can't call them at perverse hours of the night and unload on them.

Intoxication

My friends aren't nearly so much fun as when they're intoxicated.

Which Famous Homosexual Are You?

That thing at the end about staying with a total shit for twenty years sounds exactly like something I'd do.


Which Famous Homosexual are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Not quite a Ninja Turtle, you're Leonardo da Vinci!

Renaissance artist, scientist, philosopher and all-round cleverclogs, you were felt to represent humanity and divinity from 1452 to 1519. Your famous works include the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper - art that, together with your sketches and ideas, have seriously affected and enriched the society in which we live.

You were also arrested for sodomy at the age of 24, and as was common with the young men of Florence at that time, had many relationships with your friends. In the end, you were intimate with a prodigy called Salai for over two decades - despite the fact that he lied, cheated, stole and vandalised. Awww.

My Body Remembered

2.2 mi, 21.00.97, 7 degrees centigrade (windchill 4 degrees), 53% relative humidity.

Ran constantly, i.e. no walking. I'm not really happy with my pace, but it seems my body's begun to remember how to do this running thing. Feeling strangely fine.

Running

2.2 mi., 22.38.68, 13 degrees centigrade, 42% relative humidity.

It's been a long time since I've been out there, but it was a pretty good run. I actually ran for 16.45.62 and broke it up with 5.53.06 of walking.

One of the great things about running is the clarity it often brings. While I do fear failure, I'm being paralyzed by far more than that. When it comes right down to it, I fear being normal, average, less-than whom I've always considered myself to be, and the truly frightening thing about this fear is that I'm completely in control of who I turn out to be. So do I have the courage--the determination, the desire--to eliminate the superfluous from my life and commit to the necessities of my goals?

Ugh

I turned on Average Joe: Hawaii about a half hour ago, and I just can't seem to turn it off. I mean, it's a terrible show, and while I do have some sympathy for the schlubbs they've chosen for public display, I have even more sympathy for the poor woman they've duped into expecting a truckload of guys whom we've been trained to recognize as hot.

And really, the boys' bachelor pad/ frat party does not resemble a "gay slumber party" (as one of the idiots described it). At least not any slumber party I've ever attended.

So maybe it's my contempt that's preventing me from moving my thumb to push the button that will make the madness stop.

Pretty Pictures

I know I've already got a link to my friend David's website, but I cannot emphasize enough the beauty of his new gallery, The House On Stewart Road. The black-and-whites are exquisite, and I know how trite it sounds, but the pictures of Lily von Schtupp are gorgeous. Especially the one of her staring out the window.

Seriously.

Go look at them, like, now.

Life's Little Ironies

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Jeezy Creezy

Light snow, 3.2 degrees Fahrenheit, -11.2 degrees Fahrenheit windchill.

Now that's more like it.

The Homosexual Agenda

I'm sure many of you in the US have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and others speak about the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one outside of the queer communities has ever seen it. Now, I really shouldn't be publishing this, but I just got my copy of the Homosexual Agenda for 2004 from The Head Homosexual. I hope you all appreciate what a limb I'm going out on for y'all. This is a very secret document. It's not just my security clearance that's at stake; they could revoke my Pink Card, and then where would I be? No more discounts on Stoli, Bolly, Veuve and painkillers. But it's important that the truth be told, and it's my sincere hope that this will assist all of you in making preparations for a fantastic new era of more fabulous living.

The Homosexual Agenda

6:00 AM: Gym
8:00 AM: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)
9:00 AM: Hair appointment
10:00 AM: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's, Saks or Barney's)
1:00 PM: Brunch
2:00 PM: Assume complete control of the US Federal, state and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, secure total control of the internet and all mass media
2:15 PM: Be fabulous
2:30 PM: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM: Cocktails
6:00 PM: Light dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula and balsamic vinagrette dressing and Pouilly Fuisse)
8:00 PM: Theater
10:30 PM: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"

Who'd a Thunk It

Friday, January 2, 2004: 69.8 degrees Fahrenheit. I rode my bike around town this afternoon and threw open the windows of my apartment because it's so humid.

But it is supposed to snow Sunday morning.