Screw This

I am not sitting home alone on a gorgeous Saturday night--especially not when I'm looking this good.

Mark This As "Urgent"

Anybody who's between 18 and 26 years of age, regardless of your sex and educational location (and anyone who knows and cares for such folks), should be aware of this, courtesy of Congress.org.

But be aware of this rebuttal as well.

What Animal Best Portrays My Sexual Appetite?

Take the What
Animal Best Portrays Your Sexual Appetite?? Quiz

I Really Don't Know What This Is All About

B	Bold
R	Rounded
I	Innocent
N	Normal
K	Kind
-
O	Odd
F	Fun
-
D	Distinguished
I	Intelligent
S	Sensitive
A	Accurate
S	Sophisticated
T	Temperamental
E	Explosive
R	Radiant

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Which ArchAngel Am I Most Like

This accuracy thing is getting kinda scary. Especially this one.



Lucifer. The most misunderstood of all the ArchAngels, you're most like the ArchAngel of Light. You've seen the darkside and have opted for something better. You need better press, though. Chances are no one will really understand your motives.

Although, if I change one response, I'm:



Uriel. You're most like the ArchAngel of Transformation. You like teaching, and bringing the joy of learning new stuff to others. You have limited patience for stupid people despite having an amazing amount of patience otherwise.

Which ArchAngel are you most like?
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Bureaucracy

I fucking hate the university bureaucracy. And I'll tell you why:

1) I was left off of the Spring Graduation List. Not really a big deal, and partially my fault: I sort of disappear for weeks and months on end, and then I suddenly return expecting that people have done what they're supposed to do in my absence. Silly me. But this is really the least of my worries. It only means that I won't have a diploma until the end of the year and that it will be dated with either the August or December commencement date. Whatever.

2) Five weeks ago, I went to the Office of the Graduate School to submit a Change of Committee form since one of the persons whom I had asked to serve on my examination committee has since taken another job at another university. This is where it gets good: I actually had a five minute conversation with an academic advisor in an attempt to expedite the processing of said form. When it came up that I was going to be examined through a non-thesis option, the woman sorta snorted in an attempt at laughter and handed the form back to me, saying "the Graduate School only cares about thesis committees. If you're not doing a thesis, your examination and committee are totally up to your department." Taking her at her word, I disposed of said form with the signatures of myself, my portfolio supervisor and the Director of Graduate Studies for my department. Two days ago, I got this message from the same troll who told me in person five weeks ago that I didn't need to do a change of committee form: "Report of Master’s Examining Committee (M3) form has not been approved due to the following: The list of committee members on the Request for Thesis Committee (M2) form does not match the list of committee members on the M3." I've emailed the troll at the Graduate School expressing my confusion and asking her politely to explain the discrepancy between what she told me five weeks ago and what she's telling me now, but she's giving me the silent treatment, and rather than fighting a war I can't win, I've decided to just submit the damned form. But now I'm scrambling to catch my supervisor and the DGS before they disappear for the summer so they can re-sign a form they already signed five weeks ago.

I fucking hate the university bureaucracy.

But, on the upside, somebody saw the Portfolio (subtitled "Queer Essays On Religion, Sexuality and Cultural Assimilation") at the printer, became intrigued and actually contacted me for a copy.

Republican National Committee Convention Schedule

From time to time, the Head Gay gets his hands on some juicy tid-bit, and because he likes to keep his constituency informed, he shares said tid-bits. Taking a cue from my illustrious leader, I too like to share the information that comes across my desk if I feel that it will illuminate and elevate the level of conversation. So, here I present the real agenda for the 2004 RNC Convention.

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM 2nd Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself, directed by Mel Gibson.
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Future's End

Well, it's finally happened. WOXY, the Future Of Rock and Roll, has gone off the air, a victim of corporate behemoths.

Okay, so it happened five days ago. I'm just moving slowly.

So You're Back...

So I just found out--okay, it was like a week ago--that an ex is back in town and asking questions about me. He even went so far as to go to my portfolio advisor and ask her if I ever graduated. I think that's kinda creepy. Sure, I basically told him to go away when we stopped seeing each other, but that didn't stop him from calling me a year ago when he graduated to see what I was up to. He shoulda just called me.

And I've seen some interesting fare lately. Skip Van Helsing. Please. For the love of God--any one you like--don't see this movie. It's painful. And funny. But not in a good way.

But The Revolution Will Not Be Televised is fantastic. See it as soon as you're able. It makes me wonder why we weren't rioting in the streets three-and-a-half years ago when the Supreme Court used the constitutional process to deliver the Executive Office into the hands of the guy who lost the election. Oh. Maybe that's why we didn't riot: because we respect the constitutional process, the separation of powers and understand the necessity of "judicial activism" to keep the union running properly. Just a thought. But I think I might have to lead my compatriots to the barricades of freedom should we get screwed with our pants on again in November. In any case, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised is great, and everybody should see it ASAP.

And Kill Bill: Volume 2 is a brilliant meditation on parenthood--motherhood in particular. Really, it's an important piece in the puzzle explaining the importance of reproductive rights, specifically the right of a woman to choose how her body is used and the commitments she makes as a thoughtful, rational person.

And my friend David just sent me this. I think it's a thoughtful and thought provoking piece on liberal religiosity. I highly recommend taking a peak so that everybody can gain some perspective on the secular foundations of the union and the prospects for reclaiming a discussion of religion from the right.